If you frequently feel like you are apathetic, falling apart, cracking, or splitting, you might be holding yourself together until you can find a safe place to scream or cry. That doesn't mean you are mentally unwell at all. In fact, many people who seek out mental health services do so because they recognize that something is wrong. Here is why being able to describe how insane you feel is actually a good thing.
People with Severe Mental Illnesses Cannot Express Their Feelings
People with severe mental illnesses cannot adequately or accurately describe their feelings. They may ramble a lot about unrelated subjects, or subjects that are only related to what is inside their head. They link emotions to things, or naming things, and not descriptions of feelings or names of feelings to feelings. If you can still describe your feelings and name them, you are a lot healthier mentally and emotionally than you think.
You Are Not Fully Detached from Reality
The fact that you can say to yourself and others, "I need professional help," means that you are still in the present reality. You have not detached from reality to cope with what is going on inside you. As long as you can hold onto reality, and seek out mental health services, you are doing really well.
You Can Identify, Address and Reason out What Is Happening
When you feel like you are cracking into itty-bitty pieces, and you desperately want to cry but cannot, you are still in a place where you can identify how you feel, what has made you feel that way, address what is making you feel that way, and then reason out what is happening to you. Then you can take ownership of it and find better ways to cope.
You can also gain a bigger understanding of yourself, and what causes you to feel the way you do (or did when you came in for mental health services), and avoid things that can put you in that position again.
You Are Stronger and Braver Than You Think
People with really severe mental health issues either cannot do most of the above, or they really struggle with the process. While some struggle is possible with any mental health issue and procedure, it helps to know that you have not come completely unhinged because you are able to manage until you get help. Even then, you manage things better than in-patient patients on a mental health ward in a hospital.
If you think it's time to talk about your feelings, consider reaching out to services like Serenity Mental Health.